Sherlock In India

By Sunil Kumar

Now that the Sherlock Holmes character is in the public domain and belongs to the world(American court ruling); we took the liberty to imagine what Holmes and Watson would do in contemporary 21st century India. Snotty Victorian Englishmen cast in a contemporary garb are traveling salesmen; peddling the U.K to the World.

Sidney Paget: Sherlock Holmes

Visit Sidney Paget: Sherlock Holmes (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Holmes: My dear Watson! The blighted natives have changed; have they not?

Watson: Indeed, Holmes! That blasted thing called democracy!Suits them right. But remember what we came for; getting the Indians interested in Tesco; and getting close to the new Moriarty of Crime.

Holmes: That was too clever for me, Watson. But no challenge on that front; the Indians lap up everything foreign. Ah, what do they say in their curry lingo, “phoren”?

Watson: English is too twisted these days. Reminds me of the “Sign of Four“? We are meeting their Prime Minister today. Good we still have a Sikh in charge. The natives suck up to an Italian these days; mannagia!

Holmes: Reminds me of a short monograph on the subject; “Prima Donna in Indicus”. Mediterranean plants in Indian surroundings. Her Majesty the Queen explicitly forbids us to interfere.

Watson: I never get what you’re trying to say, Holmes. How can plants be related to politics?

Sherlock: Precisely the reason you’ll always remain my sidekick, Watson! Intellectual profundity cannot be comprehended by people who have learnt a smattering of medicine. Where am I supposed to go today?

Watson: The chief minister. Then we’re meeting up with Afghans in the embassy. You’re supposed to travel there, remember? Then the Tibetans in the evening! We don’t have any classical music; so we’re going to a Honey Singh concert!

Sherlock: Oh yes; the best study of crime is where the most people fib. So, we’ll have the nouveau riche, the commoners and the sharks congregate. Grasp the nettle, Watson! In my line of work, I need to be on familiar terms with half the rogue’s gallery! Discovering facts is easy Watson, it needs a genius to change them! We need something new, profane, inspired, unexpected to come up.

(All For Today)!




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