Mumbai Metro: Things I Did Not Want To Know But Heck!

By Sunil Kumar

As somebody from Bombay(I like the old name); proudly belonging to arguably the most patriotic inclusive state in the Indian Union; I wanted the Mumbai Metro to start. Heck; after reading all these writers with their own goddamn idiosyncrasies; what’s the crux? When is the whole charade going to begin?

The CM Chavan’s flagging it off at 1 PM. Some more factoids;

With the commissioning of Phase-I’s first line (Versova-Andheri-Ghatkopar), Mumbai will wait for the Colaba-Bandra-Charkop (38.24km) line and Bandra-Kurla-Mankhurd (13.37km) line totalling to a network stretching 62.68km.

Phase-II will include Charkop-Dahisar (7.5km), Ghatkopar-Mulund (12.4km) followed by Phase-III comprising BKC-Kanjurmarg via Mumbai Airport (19.5 km), Andheri east-Dahisar east (18km), Hutatma Chowk-Ghatkopar (21.8km) and Sewri-Prabhadevi (3.5km).

The entire Mumbai Metro project will be 146.5km and is estimated to cost nearly Rs 20,000 crore, scheduled to be completed by 2021.(The estimated date here; as most people know is subject to completion risk. Please read other stuff before believing this).

The national capital, Delhi, rules in more ways than one. Let’s sock it to everybody. Never in a thousand years can the city of the slumdog match up to the historical grandeur of the megapolis of poetry, power and intrigue. We’ve also got our Paki Neighbours fixated on sardine local train metropolis. Construction to commissioning of the 11.4 km Mumbai Metro has taken up nearly 76 months, even as the cost of the project increased from Rs 2356 crore to Rs 4321 crore.

Here’s more backup: When the government was promising that the Mumbai Metro would roll in 2012, Delhi Metro started building the Violet Line around the same time, a 20.2 km line connecting Badarpur to Central Secretariat, with 9 km being overhead and the rest underground. Delhi’s Violet line was done in just 41 months.

Double the distance of the Mumbai Metro, with a complex underground portion and yet, complete in just 41 months.

Something more. For the authenticity of this, see for yourself; or ask some Joshi, Bhatt, Desai or a loud boorish makapau(Goen, Mangaloren or Keralam) who may be boarding the Metro. Onam, Ugadhi, Pongal or Yuletide.

Sabke upar Bale Bale! Kem, Bhai? 95 escalators and 45 elevators across the line to take commuters to and from trains, and there is an unsubstantiated claim that there may be wheelchairs for the disabled. We’ll check for all of this, after it starts. Does Bombay become Navi Calcutta(Dear Bandhus; I like culture, history and literature) as a recent Shekhar Gupta article suggests? Even Kolkata’s got a metro way back in 1984; and accounts suggest that the Bongs take great pride in their transport!

X-ray baggage scanners and metal detectors are par for the course on the Delhi Metro.(Tribute to the foresight, planning and implementation capability of the capital in this case). Mumbai says there will be handheld explosive detectors and three emergency plungers to stop trains. Possibly, maybe, Wifi on trains and stations. (Good, if that happens).

The 33 km distance is supposed to take 21 minutes. For all the folks from the South and the other uncouth hyper-regional parts of the country; (Bengal, Gujarat,  Uttar Pradesh and Bihar)(Did I forget the English cloth-discards Guju dhansak Parsis and the overloud Portuguese raped Madrasi Soares, Fernandes and Fonsecas; please keep your regional chatter away from the Metro. I can’t stop all of you personally; but I promise that there’s Big Brother Watching everywhere.

For as if you know; me wants a country with a national purpose; a vision of collective progress. All of you can check reliancemumbaimetro.com. Kapil Sharma Zindabad! Bye Bye For Now!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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