Modzilla, Kejri”vani” and Gandhigiri

By Sunil Kumar

We’re closer to the final countdown. As our decidedly “ig”noble contenders indulge in a last-minute sprint to the finishing line; who will form the government? In an Indian context; an athletic race may not be the most appropriate metaphor; it could probably be chariots plodding away; trying to trample over each other.

Extent of Silk Route/Silk Road. Red is land ro...

Visit Extent of Silk Route/Silk Road. Red is land route and the blue is the sea/water route. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Modzilla; with his trademark beard and “Gujarati” asmita is banking on the support of millions; the “still” malleable trusting folk of the country he has attempted to shrewdly woo with patriotism and the dhokla and mirchi songs of “economic” liberation. The Modzilla rollercoaster may be lurching towards Ambani or Adani; but could be beneficial to the country as a whole. A fact that provided traction to the Modzilla engines anyways. Time will tell.

Kejri”vani”; steeped in a mix of rational engineering talk and absolute anarchy; attempts to call everybody names; and abdicates the throne when it’s too hot to handle. He makes inroads into the contemporary aesthetic of India; that is more concerned with apparently “core” issues. Kejir”vani” promises that the world will be a better place; but indulges in votebank politics like any other outfit. Everybody wants more roti, kapda and “makaan” for himself; but inclusive democracy is a first; if it is not derailed by the blinkered sight of “power” politics.

Indian rupee collection

Visit Indian rupee collection (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

At the end of the spectrum; we have “Gandhigiri“; a Munnabhai tutored by a bunch of sycophantic followers; who falters when he meets television anchors who believe that they have the divine right to every inquisition. “Gandhigiri” has been witness to scams; huge rackets that would make the reel-life “Munnabhai” hang his head down in tormented contemplation; except that the only person they probably both would listen to; their fathers; are somewhere in the heavens.

A lot of the world these days are arm-chair cynics. In the age of political expediency; non-stop TRPs; electoral manipulation and “jugaad”; opinions come from everywhere. Paid commentators in the media betray their regional leanings; and often, especially in the Anglicized version of “newspaper” reality; talk about the Kevin Spacey character “Francis Underwood” in the House of Cards. What I can think of; reading their fulminations; there are probably aspirations to the land of gun-toting proponents of liberty; the verbose states of Amrika.

The man with his obvious “Southern” Yankee drawl has no connection with Indian reality at all; and I fail to see why the media brings him up so often; except to show that their intelligence and imagination is limited to only equating a vast dynamic and unique country such as Bharat with America’s television; that has as much interest in India; as they have in “Kamalistan”; or was that country called Pakistan; somewhere in the Southern Indian Ocean.

Kevin Spacey as Lex Luthor in Superman Returns

Visit Kevin Spacey as Lex Luthor in Superman Returns (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

“Modzilla” promises us that the country will move ahead. “Kejri” vani always seems to suggest that “Gandhigiri” and “Modzilla” are two sides of the same coin; and he can be something beyond the obvious. “Gandhi” giri is characterized by “Circuit” Singh saying “Haan, Bhai” to everything; forgetting his PhD and rescue act of the Indian economy in the early 90s.

The other goons in the “Gandhi”giri realm are content with the “hafta” they get from a pliable public; who quietly watch the neighbourhood “bhais” such as “Paki” Langda and “Chinki” Kana; trying to grab “desi” territory. The biggest don; “Amriki” Komdi is busy playing with his latest gadgets; living on a massive credit card; getting money selling arms everywhere. The good student “Kejri”Vani  adopts a mixed bag of tricks to make “Gandhi”giri  come in line; and Modzilla reduce his “bluffmaster” bravado.

In the turf war; the real hero and jester is actually the unsuspecting citizen; who pays up to watch the theatrics unleashed by all these “bhais” apparently for him; but largely for themselves. The country needs a change; let’s see who the people opt for; Modzilla, Kejri”vani” or you know who. 814 million people; more than the United States and the European Union electorate combined have paid 30000 crores(4.5 billion dollars) to elect another bunch of 543 “bhais” to squabble and decide the fate of 1/5th of humanity. With a diaspora of countless millions; only 11000 NRIs seemed to have registered to vote. Really; everybody, resident and the world beyond our hallowed shores(mlecchabhumi); do cast your ballot if you must! All for this post! More later! I will keep myself posted!




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